Satire just isn't what it used to be

Nope. Now, it’s reality. As if further evidence were required, S/a/O is proud to present our first semi-interactive quiz like game product.

We call it “Match the crazy satirical article from Library Lit.‘s 1970 edition with the crazy law and/or product from today!”

1. EGGBERT HEEVER TO HEAD AGENCY INVESTIGATING LIBRARY BORROWERS

   The Admonistration has named Federal watchdog Eggbert Heever to head a new agency that will weed out undesirable library borrowers[]. Effective immediately, all library circulation procedures will require fingerprinting, and a computerized record will be kept of patrons borrowing any but USIA-approver titles. Mr. Heever has pledged to tap into telex and other library network wires in order to nab criminal types at the point of circulation. In addition, borrowers taking out more than five books a month will be photographed; those taking out more than ten will be subpoenaed to show cause why they should be reading to that extent.

2. Copyright Bill Finally Due for Passage

   Thanks to the Head Acid Officer at the Lyeberry of Congress, the Shewsworth institute has developed a paper which will self-destruct within twenty-four hours. This advance has so allayed the fears of authors and publishers about unauthorized copying of their works, that former stringent penalties for such copying in libraries are no longer needed. As a result, legislators have now put the finishing touches on the new copyright bill. The bill still retains the injunction to erase all magnetic tapes automatically, and sever penalties are included for the hardcore use of software.

   The Institute had first worked on inks which would fade within twenty-four hours, thus answering the authors’ and publishers’ demands for protection. It was pointed out, however, that getting rid of the paper itself was far better, since some unfair user might treat the ink to make it permanent again.

   As a first experiment, the copyright bill itself will be printed on the special paper.[]

1. USA PATRIOT Act
2. Digital Millennium Copyright Act
3. Disney's self-destructing DVD

What’s the prize? You get to cheer yourself up by reading about IBM finally putting the smack down on the operation formerly known as Santa Cruz.

Filed under: copyright